Little Mercies

Having been blessed with 5 childbirth experiences I find myself every once in awhile seeing similarities and differences in our adoption journey.  As a pregnant mother I imagined what personality the child growing inside me had; would he/she be a booky, sports enthusiast, a comedian? I imagined what he/she would look like.  I even wondered if he/she would act like David or I?  It never seems completely real to me until I see him/her in the ultrasound.  The ultrasound photo was cherished.  It was always hanging somewhere where I could see it.  Not only did it get me through the nausea, but it kept the whole experience real so the focus wasn't on my physical changes and pains.

The greatest challenge so far in this adoption experience has been mourning the lost time.  Each day our little guy remains in the orphanage is another day lost to someone else.  As tough as raising children is, I want that tough experience to be ours and not someone else’s.  I want those memories.  I will never have the memory of his first steps, first tantrum, first pain, first laugh, but I look forward to experiencing his first drive, ice cream cone, date, and trip to the zoo.  The thing I look forward to the most is my first hug!  That is a universal language whether in adoption or childbirth.  We all long to hold our baby for the first time, even if our baby is 6 years old!

There is much to look forward to and we are eagerly anticipating the joys and challenges that will be ours.  In the meantime, we cherish each photo.  I have been excitedly going to my computer each morning to follow the blog experience of a family who is currently in China picking up their daughter from the same orphanage that Chunming is living.  Since she was posting many photos, I was especially eager for the day she was planning on visiting the orphange; hoping to get a glimpse of our little man.  Unfortunately, the orphanage director changed his mind at the last minute and they were told not to come, so for now I will continue to hold on to the photos we already have.

Here are the latest photos we received thanks to the world wide internet.  As we have received each one,  I have stared at this stranger who is my son and imagined what he likes to do, what his laugh sounds like, if he feels loved, and what his hand feels like in mine.  We continue to pray for him day and night and ask Heavenly Father to protect him with His angels.

This is an example of how desperate we are...  If you look real close you will see his nose and eyes under his crown, peeking between the tall boy standing and the girl in pink.

So, this is a little better - That's him to the right of the little girl, sitting down in red shorts and a t-shirt

OK, this is more like it. 

These children were especially picked to participate in a performance.

That is our little one in the very front in the wheelchair.

Here he is again - in the middle



I should add how lucky we are to have these photos.  It isn't that usual to obtain photos from the orphanages.  We even have a short video of him, which we watch often.