New Photos!

We received new photos of Chun Ming!  It was so exciting!  It's like early Christmas.

These were taken by the orphanage and sent through our agency, along with some measurements.  He's a little guy at 3 and 1/2 feet tall and 33 pounds.  He is lucky to be able to attend a school on the premise.  Yep, you see English letters and numbers behind him. 

The following photos were taken and sent by a sweet mommy who was just at the orphanage to pick up her daughter last week.  Just as other families have stated, they agreed that the children are well cared for and loved. 

Isn't he the cutest?!

"What's the latest?"

It seems lately that I am asked this question quite a bit, so I thought I would take a few minutes to add an update.

Just when we committed to stay long term in our home and purchased some furniture, including David's long dreamed of grand piano, we were introduced to our newest addition; Chun Ming.  Due to his cerebral palsy we felt it was time to put the house up for sale and find a home that wasn't on a hill or had such treacherous steep steps.  To be perfectly honest, it was an exciting adventure until our house surprisingly sold in one week and we found nothing we liked as well that was in our price range.  Through the process I often had to remind myself why we were moving; to bring our Chun Ming home. 

We put a lot of time and money into our house which stood as a beacon of sunshine to welcome us home; therefore,  it was a difficult adjustment to accept our new home.  I laugh and tell my family that we live on an island, but moved to the forest.  (I guess David won't see the reality of his dream to have a waterfront home anytime soon.)  After living here for a week, we have come to recognize the great blessing and potential our new home has.  It has more space than I ever thought I wanted; it's an organizers dream!  There is plenty of room for the kids to run and has a great spot for my garden and David's chickens. (Yep, you heard right.  David has gone rural.  I may tile our floors, plumb our sinks, and fix the appliances, but you aren't going to find me cleaning out the chicken coop!  It's all his.  There.  It is recorded in black and white for all eyes to see.  Let this be evidence in case it is needed in a court of law.)  I digress...  Our new home is great and I can't wait to get into the renovating.  We plan on having the main level pretty well done by the time our son comes home from China. We thank our Heavenly Father for such a wonderful gift.

We have turned in our I800A forms to the government.  This means our home study is complete and we are waiting for immigration approval. In the meantime, we have turned in all of the required forms to our adoption agency, who is busy authenticating each one.  Once our finger prints are checked, yet again by the FBI and we receive our I800A approval, the packet of authenticated paperwork (called the Dossier) will be sent on to China. 

You might be asking yourself, "What does all this mean?"  The simple answer - We are still in the beginning stages.  We don't expect to be able to go out and get Chun Ming until close to summer.  In the meantime, we will continue to read, fulfill our adoption education requirements, and prepare our home and family for the upcoming adjustment.  We understood clearly that we needed to get busy preparing our children when we found out that when the social worker asked one of them what they will teach Chun Ming when he arrives, she answered, "I will teach him to play Barbies, dolls, and dress-ups".  For her sake, I do hope he likes to play dress ups.  Poor William has already been an unwilling prince, soldier, and variety of animals.

On a serious note I wanted to add:

In a talk entitled "Save the Children", Gordon B Hinckley said:

"My plea—and I wish I were more eloquent in voicing it—is a plea to save the children. Too many of them walk with pain and fear, in loneliness and despair. Children need sunlight. They need happiness. They need love and nurture. They need kindness and refreshment and affection. Every home, regardless of the cost of the house, can provide an environment of love which will be an environment of salvation...God bless us to be mindful of them, to lift them and guide them as they walk in dangerous paths, to pray for them, to bless them, to love them, to keep them secure until they can run with strength of their own."

We pray that through the love, kindness, and affection of our forever family, Chun Ming will soon run with strength of his own.

Hero Mom

Although at first this post may seem to have nothing to do with our adoption, upon second glance you may reconsider:

My sister Deanne, who just returned home from China with her 2 children, was nominated by my cousin as a "Hero Mom" for a contest in which she could win $2500.  The fact that she wants to help someone else with that money to adopt is just another reason why she should be nominated. 

It is heartbreaking to hear the stories behind so many of the children in need of forever families, but even more heartbreaking is the fact that there are many families willing, able, and prepared to adopt them, but cannot afford to.

My sister Deanne understands that it is often through us that the Lord works His miracles. 

Please take a moment each day until the 4th of November to vote. 

http://theblogfrog.com/p/allstate/default.aspx?replyid=1138066

Little Mercies

Having been blessed with 5 childbirth experiences I find myself every once in awhile seeing similarities and differences in our adoption journey.  As a pregnant mother I imagined what personality the child growing inside me had; would he/she be a booky, sports enthusiast, a comedian? I imagined what he/she would look like.  I even wondered if he/she would act like David or I?  It never seems completely real to me until I see him/her in the ultrasound.  The ultrasound photo was cherished.  It was always hanging somewhere where I could see it.  Not only did it get me through the nausea, but it kept the whole experience real so the focus wasn't on my physical changes and pains.

The greatest challenge so far in this adoption experience has been mourning the lost time.  Each day our little guy remains in the orphanage is another day lost to someone else.  As tough as raising children is, I want that tough experience to be ours and not someone else’s.  I want those memories.  I will never have the memory of his first steps, first tantrum, first pain, first laugh, but I look forward to experiencing his first drive, ice cream cone, date, and trip to the zoo.  The thing I look forward to the most is my first hug!  That is a universal language whether in adoption or childbirth.  We all long to hold our baby for the first time, even if our baby is 6 years old!

There is much to look forward to and we are eagerly anticipating the joys and challenges that will be ours.  In the meantime, we cherish each photo.  I have been excitedly going to my computer each morning to follow the blog experience of a family who is currently in China picking up their daughter from the same orphanage that Chunming is living.  Since she was posting many photos, I was especially eager for the day she was planning on visiting the orphange; hoping to get a glimpse of our little man.  Unfortunately, the orphanage director changed his mind at the last minute and they were told not to come, so for now I will continue to hold on to the photos we already have.

Here are the latest photos we received thanks to the world wide internet.  As we have received each one,  I have stared at this stranger who is my son and imagined what he likes to do, what his laugh sounds like, if he feels loved, and what his hand feels like in mine.  We continue to pray for him day and night and ask Heavenly Father to protect him with His angels.

This is an example of how desperate we are...  If you look real close you will see his nose and eyes under his crown, peeking between the tall boy standing and the girl in pink.

So, this is a little better - That's him to the right of the little girl, sitting down in red shorts and a t-shirt

OK, this is more like it. 

These children were especially picked to participate in a performance.

That is our little one in the very front in the wheelchair.

Here he is again - in the middle



I should add how lucky we are to have these photos.  It isn't that usual to obtain photos from the orphanages.  We even have a short video of him, which we watch often.

 

Child Trafficking

There has been some talk in the media lately regarding child trafficking.  If you are curious, take a look at the recent article in the New York Times.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/05/world/asia/05kidnapping.html?pagewanted=2&_r=4&hp

Unfortunately there are no easy answers.  Some would go as far as to suggest the closure of all international adoptions; concluding that if there were no international adoptions, there would be no need for the orphanages.  One must question this option understanding that there are countries who have closed the doors to international adoptions, yet their orphanages continue to overflow.  I am no expert on the situation, but would like to share some insights of some that are more qualified - our agency:

•       At no time has the Chinese government ever condoned the illegal removal of children from their birth families to place them with adoptive families in order to make money. These actions have been conducted by a very few corrupt officials or local criminal gangs. Over the last few years the Chinese government has been aggressively cracking down on traffickers, which is evident by them capturing and breaking up two child-trafficking gangs within the last six months. Additionally, the Chinese authorities continue to evaluate additional steps to determine a child’s legitimate status as an orphan.•       Contrary to how this may be presented by the media, this problem is not widespread. The number of children being abducted and being made available for adoption is minuscule compared to the thousands of children that are legitimate orphans and in great need of permanent, loving families.

•       The number of non-special needs adoptions has decreased and the majority of adoptions now are primarily special needs. As many of you know already, the Chinese culture as a whole is not yet accepting of children with special needs, so they are not adopted within China and in particular would not be targeted by traffickers.
•       ASIA and CCCWA are parties to the Hague Convention and work hard to support the regulations put forth by The Hague Convention, which is highly concerned with the prevention of child trafficking. This is why ASIA makes every effort to work with the Chinese authorities to ensure that all our adopted children have proper documentation before they are adopted and enter the U.S. The U.S. Government is also very particular about receiving legitimate documentation proving a child's orphan status before allowing a child into the U.S. 
•           Part of the process to prevent child trafficking in children that are available for adoption includes placing a finding ad in local newspapers in China with the child’s photo. If a child were stolen, it would be likely that parents looking for that child would recognize their photo.
•       ASIA’s mission is to find families for legitimate orphans in need and we wouldn’t continue to advocate for the children of China if we thought any of our placements were in any way unethical. In fact, ASIA is absolutely committed to maintaining integrity in adoptions and we strongly support the ideals of the Hague Convention.

NOTE:  This takes me back to when I was 18 and a nanny in Connecticut.  An article was published reciting the abominations of the au pair's life.  Although it was fitting in some situations and deserved consideration, it did not speak for the majority, but I was quick to send a reassuring letter to my parents.  So, for what it's worth, "Don't worry Mom and Dad."  (Although I know my parents are not concerned, just writing it made me feel 25 years younger.  Hey, at my age I will take any opportunity I can get!  :)

*Chun Ming AKA Charlie

To protect the orphan's identities, they are assigned an American name which is used in all public information.  Charlie's name in China is actually *Chun Ming.  He was 6 years old in June and is small for his age.  The agency staff that worked with him on their visit in April, labels him as "very sweet".  He has mild cerebral palsy, but is capable of taking care of his own needs.  We also know from his paperwork that he likes to eat fruit, rice and Chinese bread, which we are so thankful for since we rarely eat meat, let alone fish head (a delicacy in China).

.

Meet Charlie

Here are the photos and information our agency had about Charlie on their blog.

MEET CHARLIE

Tuesday, May 10th, 2011

Charlie was another boy who any of us would have been happy to take home. He's a happy little guy who has the most determination of any of the kids we met. What a sweetheart! If you could see the close up pictures I took of him, you would fall head over heals in love with him, too! He is truly a gentle boy with a very loving personality. He's not outgoing, but friendly nonetheless and always smiling. He wants to please, so he always tries his hardest. Doesn't that sound like a perfect son and addition to your family? Charlie does have some challenges, but with some treatment, this boy could thrive. He is fully functional in his daily living tasks and very willing to learn.

Charlie's Orphanage

Our adoption agency partners with Baotou Social Welfare Institute in Inner Mongolia.   They advocate for the children who range in age from newborns up to 13 years old and have special needs such as cleft lip and palate, heart conditions, limb differences, digestive disease, vision and/or hearing issues as well as conditions that are more serious like cerebral palsy and down syndrome.  A team, including a doctor and occupational therapist, visited this last April.to help begin the process of registering the children for adoption and to do evaluations on the children. They also took the opportunity to take pictures and video.  They gathered as much information as possible about the children to help them find families.  We do not know much about the orphanage yet, but hope to receive more information as we move along in our journey.  Here are some photos of the outside and inside.  As far as we know, Charlie has lived here since an infant.


orphanage

Gates leading to the orphanage

 


Outside of the orphanage

 


Inside of orphanage

 



Map of China - Inner Mongolia is North



We Just Love To Travel!

"What are you thinking?!" "Are you nuts?!" "Why?!"  These are only a few of the reactions we have received so far.  Not quite knowing how to respond to these loaded questions, I told a very close friend that I needed a good come-back.  She suggested we reply with the simple response, "We have always wanted to travel!"  I thought that was a lot better than the suggestion, "We just love Chow Mein!" that another friend offered. (Nice try Shauna :)

Since this blog is only open to our close friends and family, we will assume that if you are reading this, you deserve a more thoughtful explanation so here is the condensed version.

It all started with the adoption of our sweet little guy last year.  At our final home visit by our social worker, 6 months after bringing William home, she asked us, "Would you be open to adopting again?" David surprised me and answered "yes".  Later, after the thought simmered for another few months, I started peeking at the adoption updates I had subscribed to from the beginning of our adoption journey with William; not really believing it would actually end up with another adoption.  After a few weeks of looking at the hundreds of children among the millions that need families, it wasn't long before I started deleting the email updates before even opening them.  I had seen enough children's faces to make me feel completely overwhelmed by the very thought of adoption.

In the meantime, my sister, who is in the process of adopting two children from China, sent us a link to her agency's blog and told us to "check out the Asian Ashton" they came across.  We found Ashton's look-a-like and had to laugh when we looked at the similarities.  Anyone who knew Ashton at this age would see what we all saw.  I am pretty sure we have a picture somewhere of Ashton in this very same pose.

Jake the "Asian Ashton"



Out of curiosity we continued to look through the blog and even watched a few videos of these children who are in an orphanage in China.  There was one particular boy that stood out to both David and I.  He was nothing that we had originally pictured when discussing adoption as an option.  He was older and had an ongoing medical need, so we moved on, but not before taking note of his American name; Charlie.


Charlie with the Occupational Therapist

The more we thought about the challenges and sacrifices another adoption would bring, the more we distanced our thoughts from the idea.  We were questioning: Could we still offer all of the time and attention our current children needed?  At our age, could we handle it?  Could we sacrifice the large amount of money the initial adoption would take, let alone the ongoing needs of another child?  Do we have the energy to do this again?  What if there are bonding issues?  What if our children have a difficult time adjusting?  Do we have the knowledge, patience, and love to handle the emotional damage that will surely come with an adopted child?  etc. etc. etc. 

After another month of avoiding the eyes of the children that haunted me on my computer screen and were so easy to delete, we decided we must make a final decision and not look back.  After weighing all the pros and cons and praying for guidance, we took an evening away from the distractions of our children and brought our dilemma to the Lord.  Long story short, we came away with our answer; not only were we to adopt, but knew we must bring Charlie home.  In spite of the fears and "what ifs", we would not deny the spiritual reassurances we received.

We contacted the agency and told them that we were interested in seeing the file of a boy named Charlie.  It was clear that the individual on the other end of the phone knew exactly who I was speaking of by her audible "Ahhh".  She instructed me to fill out the initial application to see Charlie's file, which would include all of the information they had on him.  We sat on the file for our allotted week without much discussion; we were both still timid and fearful.  It was a slow beginning as we worked through our fears, but now that we are almost through the month of July, we can't hurry the process along fast enough. 

We have been busy collecting, signing, notarizing, and overnighting paperwork.  Although we wanted to keep our decision quiet until we were actually approved by both governments, when Jordan informed us that most of his buddies knew because they had accidentally seen the paperwork I left on the table or the information up on my laptop, we knew we needed to bite the bullet and let our family and friends know. 

We are at the beginning of a very lengthy process and figure we have around 10 months to go before we can bring him home.  In the meantime, we know we will have many questions to field from the notary to our neighbors, but for now we will use our friend's suggestion and stick with the answer,  "We just love to travel!!!!"  Perhaps we will add, "And we might go to Russia next year!"  just for kicks.  :)