Babas and Momas Needed

I keep saying that this is my last blog post, but...

Here is a sweet story I have to share about my nephew who was also adopted from China.

http://www.lwbcommunity.org/i-love-it-family?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed:+lwbstories+%28LWB+Stories%29

Adoption Tax Credit

Although some believe it is a scam and some believe it is warranted, the truth is adoption is EXPENSIVE.  There are many prepared and willing families who would like to adopt, but cannot due to the expense.  I know personally of a friend of ChunMing's who would have a forever family if it weren't for the money required. It breaks my heart to know that he continues to spend his life without needed medical care, the love of a father, mother, sisters, and brothers, and the security and stimulation a home provides.  There are so many others just like him. 

There is help out there; the Adoption Tax Credit.  In fact, this same family mentioned above has benefited from this tax credit several times already.  The problem is, it is going to expire at the end of this year. Check out this link to our adoption agency and take the few steps required to let your senator and congress representative know how important this credit is to the thousands of waiting families and children.  While your at it, perhaps you will come across a face that speaks to your heart.  This same blog is where we first saw ChunMing! :)

http://asiahope.blogspot.com/2012/09/i-know-youre-tired-of-hearing-this.html

Friends

It's been said that true friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.  If that is true, then ChunMing has found a true friend and I have no hope of knowing who my true friends are; I talk too much.

ChunMing has now played at the park, picked blackberries on a walk, hunted for crabs at the beach, played games and rolled around on the trampoline with his new friend Adana.   As I watch them sit on our playroom floor, one playing barbies and the other playing cars without a word spoken between them, I wonder...are either of them having fun?  Yet, the next time a get together is suggested, he smiles.

Adana, full of questions like, "How do you understand him?" or "How does he know the ABC song?" joins right in as we sing "Old MacDonald Had a Farm" at the top of our lungs, or gently teaches him the colors in our card game.  She is curious about their differences, yet gets excited when there are similarities.  Last week when she came over to play I took down some photos of ChunMing's friends from his orphanage, which we showed Adana.  He quickly saw her interest and asked me to get down a bag of items he had made at his school too.  He carefully took out one masterpiece at a time and pointed to himself and then to the item, showing his new friend his life in China. 

Last week we went to lunch together.  The gentleman taking our order asked ChunMing a question to which  Adana proudly replied, "He lived in China!", which she figured would explain everything. 

As other children are understandably initially uncomfortable with this new stranger who talks differently, walks differently, and looks differently, Adana sees a new friend.  She is a unique individual who isn't afraid to be herself, or afraid of others who are different than she.  It's a perfect combo. It is going to be fun to watch this friendship bloom, or wither; which is a possibility as well, but not as romantic a notion. :)

A Growing Family

I can't imagine a better way to end our exciting year than to add yet another sweet addition to our ever growing family.  Ashton is engaged to be married!  You might ask, "What does this have to do with ChunMing, whom this blog is dedicated to?"  Well, besides the fact that he will have his first Sister-In-Law...nothing.  I just couldn't help myself. 

I know that some of you are wondering if his brother Jordan knows and the answer is "yes".  Ashton called to tell him the night before Jordan left on his mission.

Life Keeps Changing

Yesterday, Jordan our 19 year old son left home for a 2 year mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  He will first spend 2 months in the Mission Training Center in Utah where he will learn how to speak Hiligaynon and then the rest of his two years will be spent in Iloilo, Philippines.  It was a bitter/sweet goodbye; bitter for obvious reasons, but sweet because we so strongly believe in what he is teaching.  We are excited for his journey ahead, but not so excited to finally explain to ChunMing that one of his favorite people won't be back for a very long time.  About all I have gotten across to ChunMing is that Jordan went bye bye on an airplane.  Even that thought brought distress to him.  We hope to have a friend translate what Jordan is doing and where very soon. 

We are going to miss our son and brother.  Change can be hard, even when it's great.






My brother picked up Jordan from the airport
 and dropped him off at the MTC.
He snapped these photos for us.



In Sincere Gratitude

Since we documented much of our journey, first for extended family, then for our children to see what was happening each day in China, and now with the intent of publishing this blog for ChunMing's sake someday, I want to take the opportunity to record our deepest gratitude to those who have supported us. 

From the very beginning of this adoption adventure we have received positive feedback from most everyone we told; especially family, who knows us well enough to tell us we were crazy, but didn't.  We were given encouragement when we were discouraged.  We even received some financial assistance from a couple of friends who wanted to show their support and knew the financial strain involved.  Then there was our Chinese born friend who translated documents, answered questions, and even brought over some Chinese food for ChunMing.  Friends watched over our children while we were away: taking them out to lunch, having them over for dinner, and keeping their spirits up.  There were some sweet friends who organized our newly installed kitchen and others who installed our refrigerator and freezer.  We left with overgrown plants invading our walkway and came home to a trimmed and weeded plant bed.  Finally, we were the grateful recipients of what my friend calls, "Extreme Makeover, Playhouse Edition".  I know what you are thinking, "Is that a new show on the television fall line up?"  Not quite, but it should be.

We were just a couple of months away from picking up ChunMing and life was very busy.  Our renovation looked more like devastation, but life kept happening and there was never enough time in a day to get any progress done.  I called a friend for help and without hesitation she and her entire family came over to help us paint... but it didn't end there.  Next, she recommended her handyman and then assisted him each day he was here, in order to save us money.  Then came the playhouse.

I made the mistake of mentioning how difficult it was for me to move from my recently renovated home to a much larger one in need of renovation and how guilty I felt to put my kids in another project.  With no place to relax and play, I knew it was taking it's toll. 

We came home from China to this:



We happen to know from our spies at home that there were loving elves
 that assisted our friends in this huge undertaking.



Our friend even recruited another kind friend of ours to sew the curtains.  They are perfect Susan!



I particularly love the vinyl lettering on the wall; the words couldn't be more appropriate. "Faith Hope Love"

 A couple of days after returning from China I mentioned to my older children that I was ready for a vacation.  Their quick response was that it was our friends who needed the vacation!  I couldn't agree more.  From the demolition, which resulted in a broken finger, to debugging, sanding, insulating, sheet rocking, and then everything in between and all the way to the smallest detail like bottled water and popcorn, our friends spent endless time and resources.  They even hired someone to de-moss the roof and trim the trees surrounding it. Our entire family has been overwhelmed by the sacrifice, kindness, and love on our behalf.  We wish we could express our gratitude to each  member of their family who gave up so much.   The playhouse will be a monument of love in our very own backyard. 

Here are the "sort of before photos".  I say "sort of"  because this doesn't even begin to show the reality.  Our friend had already cleared out all of the junk (I won't even begin to list the stuff she found) and you can't see the mass amount of spiders, bugs, and water stains.   Trust me... it was gross enough that our children weren't allowed to set foot inside up to this point.



After all the junk was removed

 
 

after ripping out all existing insulation

 

Almost completed



These two cuties put up with an awful lot, not to mention the fact that their parents were completely

 focused on someone else's playhouse!  What troopers!

     

With a few of us already in our pjs, here we are after shedding a few tears of gratitude at the unveiling.



"A friend is known when needed." Arabian proverb

"Thank you!" to our dear friends of Bainbridge Island!

There's No Place Like Home



David was sick and I was doing
anything I could to keep ChunMing 
entertained



Our trip home was as simple as clicking our heels together 3 times and repeating, "There's no place like home."... well, sort of.  Alright, the truth is we were so glad when it was over.  It was pretty long and grueling.  Once on the ferry we were feeling a bit more rejuvenated and excited to see the rest of our children and tell them all the sordid details we didn't add to this blog.  (You can't blame me; it is public.)

  

The 1st ferry ride of many


ChunMing greeted his brothers and sisters with smiles.  He wandered a bit exploring his new surroundings, understanding this was his new home.  He was a little timid, but we didn't recognize any somberness or sadness.  He truly seemed happy to be here.  He was exhausted and went to sleep with no problem.  Unfortunately, he awoke awhile later throwing up and didn't stop for a couple of days. 

I thought maybe it was a blessing in disguise as he had to rely on my care since David had to go to work the next day.  ChunMing allowed me to take care of him and I believed we were making progress until he started getting stronger;  he then dismissed me and embraced Baba once again.  He even included our two oldest boys as readily as he accepted his Baba, but he was equally guarded with our three girls as he was with me.


William was patient with this new stranger for the first few days. 

 He seemed to recognize him from the photos we had up on our wall and called him by name. 

 Once he came to terms with the fact that ChunMing was here to stay, the jealousy set in.  Although there

have been plenty of opportunity, unfortunately I do not have a photo of Jordan with a boy on each arm.

Wednesday morning I woke ChunMing up with repeated kisses on his face and an "I love you" and he greeted me with a beautiful sleepy smile in return!  It was all I could do to not start crying.  I often told him in English, knowing he couldn't understand, that I could be patient and had all eternity to wait on him, but I lied.  I wanted it now! It now seemed as if the barrier was thinning.

Each morning since, hand in hand with mamma, ChunMing has waved goodbye to Jordan and David with no sadness.  Ashton has returned to school in Idaho (and might I add, his beautiful girlfriend whom we can't wait to meet).  ChunMing's connection with us girls is getting stronger everyday.  At the moment, we are all busily engaged in school and loving every new "first" with ChunMing. 



This is how we found Ashton almost the same time each night; skyping his sweet girlfriend


Here is what we have learned about ChunMing:

*Radiant-  He can light up a room.



Need I say more? (he doesn't wear glasses by the way, he is playing with moms)

 *Loves to laugh and have fun-  Even when it is locking his little brother outside

*Likes to be tickled and wrestle-  With a big smile, he refuses to lift his arms when I am changing his clothes because he knows a tickle is coming.

*Is very determined- I took the boys to the park this week and ChunMing had to experience everything he saw, including the rope walk. 

*Has a sweet disposition, yet can be quite headstrong-  When he wants something he can't have (which isn't all that often at this point), he gives a sweet tantrum.  No screaming or yelling, just fake tears, a pouty face, and an occasional lying on the ground kicking, or hitting his legs with his fists.  Oh, if only all my children manifested their frustration in such a mild way.  We always have to work to resist smiling; he is so darn cute.

*Looooves popcorn (like his mama!)-  I made a bowl of popcorn, which he carefully guarded.  When I took a handful he looked at me with an unhappy face, placed the bowl in his lap, and turned his back so I couldn't take more.  He ended up downing 2 batches, while eating with both hands.


William doesn't have a chance. 
 ChunMing took out a couple handfuls and placed it on the table for William's share.


*Smart-  Boy does this kid catch on fast. He has often corrected us on our mistakes or taught our girls how to do something they were unsure of.  He's pretty amazing.

*Enjoys music-  At his request, we often listen to children's music in Mandarin while driving in the car and have had dance sessions in the kitchen.  He learned how to hook up his sister's ipod after watching her the first time and does it quite often, to her chagrin.  While waiting at the airport on our way home, he was enthralled by a young man playing his guitar.  He stood less than a foot in front of him, watching his every move.

While I was putting William's diaper back on for the 20th time that day,
 ChunMing went into his sister's room and re-appeared moments later, 
with headphones in his ears and the music blaring.   
(Ashton, the typical resourceful male that he is, discovered one more use for duct tape while we were in China - added diaper security.  The problem with this solution is you need scissors to change the diaper)

*Sings along with any music he hears, even when he doesn't have a clue what the words are.

*Likes to paint-  We did a little painting and then I took out the play dough to keep him busy so I could get dishes done, but he found it difficult to work with his hands.  He tired quickly and took out the paints once again, proudly showing me each and every piece of artwork.



ChunMIng painting in his sister's glasses. 

 *Has a thing for glasses-  He wore mine for much of our China adventures and has now commandeered his sisters

*Beginning to embrace story time-  We read most nights to our children, which he had no interest in at first, but now seems to enjoy.

*Gets a kick out of bubbles:  bubbles in the bathtub, bubbles from a wand, or bubbles on his hands from soap.  He loves them all!

*Likes things clean and orderly

*Loves to play with and throw rocks

*Is very helpful-  Even while in China, he insisted on taking things off of the table and handing them to the waitress' when we were done.  He helps me vacuum, fold laundry, pick up toys, etc.  The caretakers at the orphanage even told us that is why he was with younger children; he was so helpful to them.


*Would ride in the wagon all day if we had the energy-  He especially loves when I pull him while running

*Wears his socks 24 hours and his shoes whenever he is awake

*Doesn't like dill pickles (William's favorite), soda (no biggie since we never drink it), or our daily green smoothie (Major problem since we live on these things - we'll work on that :)

*Doesn't love ice cream, but ate up the frozen yogurt we got the first day of school

*We must be at constant watch as he is very unstable

*Keeps William in check by making sure Momma knows his every step that's out of line

*Is an adventurous eater.  At first he was quite picky and we were worried about his weight, but now he wants to eat all day and glories in the ability to take something whenever he likes.  I might add that he doesn't eat vegetables.  This morning he wanted hummus and crackers for breakfast and for lunch he put mayonnaise in his rice.



He's lovin chocolate milk.  He gets out the chocolate and soy milk and then hands them to me with a big smile. 
He will even get a large cup for me so I don't skimp. 


*Enjoys playing in the sand-  We had a family photo taken at the beach prior to Ashton leaving for school and Jordan leaving to serve a 2 year mission in the Philippines.  It was the first time I have seen ChunMing willingly take off his socks and shoes when he wasn't getting into the bath.  He later discovered sand once again at a local park.

*Doesn't enjoy regular swing seats, but loves to swing in a baby seat-  One local park even had large seated swings for the disabled which he tolerated, but it wasn't until the second park of the week that he discovered the baby seats.  He couldn't get enough.  It was all the fun without the instability.

Each day is full of new adventures for ChunMing and our family.  He is always busy exploring and discovering at the same fast pace as William.  One distracts me by embracing his creativity with a tube of lipstick on the walls while the other is discovering how the washing machine works, from the inside.   Between he and William, I am exhausted at the end of the day, but wouldn't trade it for the world.  Sometimes I think this might keep me young and other times I am sure I am getting old before my time.  It's a constant balancing act and there have been plenty of difficult moments, but I have learned over and over that the greatest gifts my Heavenly Father has granted me, haven't come easy.   In fact, today ChunMing came up to me, grabbed my hand and led me to his sister's room.  He was pointing at the wall, so I was looking for a bug, or something amiss.  I picked him up and he pointed to a sign my daughter had typed up, printed, and taped to her wall some time ago.  I am not sure what he was trying to tell me, but the message I received was loud and clear.