Final Countdown Drawing Near

Most of us that have experienced pregnancy can relate to the torture of the final trimester; discomfort, anticipation, excitement, in trepidation, and constant questions like, "When is your baby due?" (asked in a tone that implies you look 15 months pregnant instead of 8)  Besides heartburn, we are living the final trimester once again. 

Last week as I lay in my bed watching the most amazing light show from a freakish storm, the gears in my mind moved in equal lightening speed.  Intermingled with a plethora of current concerns, blessings, fears, questions, etc, etc... I wondered if perhaps I was the only one that has advanced to the final month of pregnancy and then experienced that feeling you get at Disneyland when you are the next one to get on your favorite roller coaster after standing in line for two hours;  not quite sure if the anticipation, excitement, and fear isn't more enjoyable on the ground?

That's exactly where we are; the next to step onto the roller coaster.  With all of the paperwork turned in we are just waiting for our travel approval, which is basically the Chinese government's approval of our adoption application and gives us permission to travel to China to legally make Elisha ChunMing our son.  It seems surreal.

We started off our journey purchasing about 10 of the most recommended books, borrowing some Mandarin materials so we could learn some of our son's language, contacting doctors, gleaning wisdom from other's that have walked this path, purchasing a car that can haul a wagon or wheel chair if necessary, and even moving to a home that would accommodate his needs better.  As usual, I had it all mapped out.  I was going to do it right.  Remember that first trimester when you ate all of veggies you could manage?  Now remember the final trimester when those veggies turned into shakes and fries?  That's me in a nutshell. 

I have read about half of my stack of books.  I did listen to a Mandarin cd in the car over and over, but still can't say "I love you ChunMing" correctly.  I am trying to locate the whereabouts of the contact information for the doctor we chose among my file of adoption paperwork so I can set up his homecoming appointment.  Our big renovation plans have turned into a desperate race to get our kitchen functioning prior to ChunMing's arrival.  I am hoping to at least be able to cook him some noodles on a kitchen stove instead of our camp stove in the back yard. Once again, my plans have altered and I learn more humility and faith.

Since returning from a family reunion in California, where I tried desperately to stop my mind from wandering to my to-do list waiting for me,  on many occasions I have found myself in a quiet place praying for peace and wisdom as I juggle my responsibilities.  I have to remind myself that even though this will not be a text book adoption, ChunMing will have the love of a family.  I remind myself, "I'm not writing a book anyway!"  When my mind calms I can embrace the excitement of finally holding his hand or giving him his first hug. I can imagine singing him to sleep or watching his timid reaction to new experiences.  Although this beautiful child who is a stranger to us, has never been in our family photos or gone on a family vacation, he is our family and I can't wait until he is home and we are whole.