Gotcha Day (part 1)

Yesterday we were united with ChunMing, which is fondly referred to as "Gotcha Day" in the adoption world. It was a day to never be forgotten; full of sadness, happiness, awe, amazement, excitement, reflection, and joy.

We ate breakfast at the hotel's beautiful buffet to start out the day.


You will be disappointed to know I ate fruit and potatoes when all sorts of delicacies were available...like duckhead.

Discovering ChunMing would be late, we explored the hotel and it's immediate surroundings to kill some time.

This is the view of Hohhot looking out of our hotel window

The hotel lobby, where we first met ChunMing

Then we found some benches overlooking the front doors of the hotel lobby, so we wouldn't miss his grand entrance. We waited, and waited and waited... finally we went to our room so our guide could contact us if there was another change in plans. About 15 minutes later we received the phone call that he was here.

We met with a group of 3 individuals with the orphanage in the lobby: the secretary, the driver, and even the doctor was there. They informed us that ChunMing had gotten car sick in the car and was in the restroom with his caretaker. They let us know that he had only been in a car a handful of times in his life and isn't used to it. We were also told that he was so excited for his Babba and Mamma, that he hardly slept the night before.

A few moments later, ChunMing arrived, clearly shaken and much like a dear in headlights. His caretaker said something about his "momma and babba" and gently pushed him to us. Although his body language and face said he wanted to run, he was obedient to her command and stepped towards me to give me a hug. I felt his pain and wanted to save him from it, but couldn't. My tears started to come, so I quickly asked our guide to please let him know that his momma cries because she is so happy. Soon, his lip quivered and the floodgates opened. As much as I prepared myself for this moment, it still ripped my heart out.


ChunMing and his caretaker

It is that feeling every parent has experienced; complete helplessness. I was not the one that would give him comfort as I was the stranger. His caretaker also brokenhearted, came to his rescue. I could sense her deep love for him and her desire to also save him from this pain. These were good signs; he was obviously loved and loved in return.

My mother instincts kicked in and I looked for a distraction. The orphanage staff had brought quite a few items with them, including a box of school crafts ChunMing had made, so I called ChunMing's name and started to go through the items. He began to tell me about each piece while I made "ohh" and "ahh" sounds. It worked. His tears dried up.

While spending a few minutes with dad, the caretaker spoke with me. Even though I couldn't make out much of anything, I knew she was communicating her love for ChunMing and her pain at him leaving. With tears in her eyes, she told me that she has taken care of him for 5 years. She showed me some photos she placed in his photo book we had sent him, of her and the group she worked with, which included several boys that I was familiar with from our agency's web sight. She especially pointed out his best friend. Finally, she was able to let me know that she wanted ChunMing to keep up communication. My heart was full of gratitude that our son had been in a place of nurturing.

We had also received some school paperwork and gifts we had sent him, along with gifts and snacks the orphanage staff gave him. I asked our guide later that day if this orphanage was unusual in China. She said she only works with the ones in Inner Mongolia, but it was the best. She said the staff loves their children. She also explained that the 8 boys, ChunMing's orphanage group consisted of, all had "brain problems" as she put it. They weren't able to get out of the orphanage very much.

Some paperwork was signed, photos taken, and goodbyes said. Most the staff had left, except for one who remained. I was able to then ask some questions about his health, his history, and his schedule. We learned that his favorite food is any meat (that ought to be interesting in a family full of veggie eaters; our oldest boys excluded :). All the time, he was warming up to us. His tears were replaced by bright smiles and he was connecting. He was especially connecting to Babba and his iPhone.  (Jordan, he saw the photo of you and your little brother on your motorcycle and wants a ride :)  When the final staff member left, he took our hand and walked off to his new life.

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Safe and Sound in China

We are only hours away from getting our son.  We left the Seattle airport Saturday afternoon and spent almost 12 hours in the air to get to Beijing.  It was a little tricky navigating our way around the airport once we arrived, but managed to get where we needed to be.  Then we waited another 5 hours to hit our connecting flight to Hohhot, the capital of Inner Mongolia.  It is almost 1:30am and we are settled in the beautiful Sheraton Hotel and David is sound asleep.  Hence the goofy photo.  A sleeping man can't defend himself.

Unfortunately, since we spent the past 20 hours either on a plane or in an airport, we didn't take any photos but this one to test my son's camera we borrowed.  I was determined to get something on for our children at home, who will be checking the blog daily for photos.  Sorry kids; that's all I got. 

Our oldest son and oldest daughter would love to be here.  It's been fun to interact in a culture so different from our own.  Each culture has their own set of social rules of etiquette; mostly unwritten, but we have recognized several differences in just a day.  Of all the smiles I gave away, I think I received 3 in return; and I smile a lot.  It wasn't until the end of the day that I realized how strange these two Americans are with a child's backpack on their back.  hmmm suspicious indeed.

Our guide and driver picked us up from the airport and we drove the 30 minutes to the hotel.  (I won't even mention the road etiquette :)  We asked the few questions our fuzzy brains could manage and tried to get a view of the city in the dark.  The guide has not yet met ChunMing, but said he is the first child with CP to be adopted out of Inner Mongolia.  We were surprised to hear this, but she mentioned  this fact a couple more times and even said, "He is lucky to have a chance and be adopted."  Personally, I have no doubt WE are the lucky ones.

With some concerns over our children we left behind (in good hands I might add!) and a new butterfly sensation in my stomach, I must go to bed.  We meet ChunMing in the hotel lobby at 11am

Note: notice the photo is deleted.  The man is no longer sleeping...

We're goin' to China!

Yep!  It's official, we have secured our flights this very day.  We received our Travel Approval from China on the 19th, which was the final step on this lengthy ladder.  It was by far the most exciting step in the process for us.  We then waited until an appointment with the consulate was scheduled and then sealed the deal with our plane reservations.  Our agency is now busily planning our appointments, hotels, guides, drivers, etc.  We leave August 11th.

Yesterday we heard from an American woman that is visiting ChunMing's orphanage for a few weeks teaching English in his preschool.  Among some tender words that brought tears to my eyes, she shared some insights and informed us that he has never been exposed to English before, but is catching on to a few words.  She concluded with, "His smile is BEAUTIFUL".  It was such a treat to read.

Last week we sent ChunMing his third and final care package through a third party in China.  We ordered a few items including some books and an English teaching toy.  We then wrote a letter which they translated for him.  Here is the photo they sent of the package prior to delivery.



Look closely at the top two books.  It's a far cry from "If You Give a Moose a Muffin". 

If Ye Are Prepared, Ye Shall Not Fear

For mothers of older children- You know those feelings you get when your child moves out of the house and you wonder if you have taught him all he needs to know to be a successful adult?  "Did I teach him how to change a tire?  Does he know how to cook something besides toast?  Can he balance a checkbook? and the list goes on.  I have had similar thoughts as we prepare to bring ChunMing home.  "Have I prepared my children for what lies ahead?"

My youngest daughter and I were cleaning out her school backpack, which I had been encouraging since the last day of school.  I finally got her to concede when she fully understood that any schoolwork we find unfinished, will not be required study material.  When she pulled out a photo of ChunMing, which she had carefully placed in a ziploc baggy and slid into the pocket of her homework binder the first week of school, those thoughts came back.

I decided to seize another moment and talk about what she might expect when her brother arrives.  I went over the bonding that must take place, the attention he would require, and many aspects of the transition which might prove difficult. I am still undecided if I was successful at communicating how life will be different, since her only concern was how would they communicate while playing barbies. :) 

Final Countdown Drawing Near

Most of us that have experienced pregnancy can relate to the torture of the final trimester; discomfort, anticipation, excitement, in trepidation, and constant questions like, "When is your baby due?" (asked in a tone that implies you look 15 months pregnant instead of 8)  Besides heartburn, we are living the final trimester once again. 

Last week as I lay in my bed watching the most amazing light show from a freakish storm, the gears in my mind moved in equal lightening speed.  Intermingled with a plethora of current concerns, blessings, fears, questions, etc, etc... I wondered if perhaps I was the only one that has advanced to the final month of pregnancy and then experienced that feeling you get at Disneyland when you are the next one to get on your favorite roller coaster after standing in line for two hours;  not quite sure if the anticipation, excitement, and fear isn't more enjoyable on the ground?

That's exactly where we are; the next to step onto the roller coaster.  With all of the paperwork turned in we are just waiting for our travel approval, which is basically the Chinese government's approval of our adoption application and gives us permission to travel to China to legally make Elisha ChunMing our son.  It seems surreal.

We started off our journey purchasing about 10 of the most recommended books, borrowing some Mandarin materials so we could learn some of our son's language, contacting doctors, gleaning wisdom from other's that have walked this path, purchasing a car that can haul a wagon or wheel chair if necessary, and even moving to a home that would accommodate his needs better.  As usual, I had it all mapped out.  I was going to do it right.  Remember that first trimester when you ate all of veggies you could manage?  Now remember the final trimester when those veggies turned into shakes and fries?  That's me in a nutshell. 

I have read about half of my stack of books.  I did listen to a Mandarin cd in the car over and over, but still can't say "I love you ChunMing" correctly.  I am trying to locate the whereabouts of the contact information for the doctor we chose among my file of adoption paperwork so I can set up his homecoming appointment.  Our big renovation plans have turned into a desperate race to get our kitchen functioning prior to ChunMing's arrival.  I am hoping to at least be able to cook him some noodles on a kitchen stove instead of our camp stove in the back yard. Once again, my plans have altered and I learn more humility and faith.

Since returning from a family reunion in California, where I tried desperately to stop my mind from wandering to my to-do list waiting for me,  on many occasions I have found myself in a quiet place praying for peace and wisdom as I juggle my responsibilities.  I have to remind myself that even though this will not be a text book adoption, ChunMing will have the love of a family.  I remind myself, "I'm not writing a book anyway!"  When my mind calms I can embrace the excitement of finally holding his hand or giving him his first hug. I can imagine singing him to sleep or watching his timid reaction to new experiences.  Although this beautiful child who is a stranger to us, has never been in our family photos or gone on a family vacation, he is our family and I can't wait until he is home and we are whole.

I800 Approval!

We received our final approval for the adoption.  Now we work on our visas.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHUNMING!

It was ChunMing's 7th birthday this week, but it felt like ours when we got these pictures.  We were able to send him a cake and candy to share with his friends, along with a gift and letter.  Here are photos the orphanage staff took for us.  As you can imagine, it was the highlight of our week!